Warning – this will almost definitely contain spoilers. 

Ah, Bruce Wayne/Christian Bale (you are interchangeable in my mind), I am a bit in love with you. I completely understand the pain and anguish which you feel, as I can only presume it comes from the overly complicated plot lines in your films.

Let me get the positives out of the way first. There were quite a few, but it’s a while since I saw the film, so I’ll have forgotten most of them:

1. This is the first time I remember seeing Anne Hathaway in a film and not hating her. Way to go, Anne. You’re smoking hot in this, and I very much liked the way your goggles flipped up to make little cat ears. I must get me some of those.

2. Tom Hardy continues to always be awesome in everything I see. He’s a total chameleon – I actually walked out the cinema not realising he was in the film. Admittedly, he had his little Bane mask on, but still.

3. Being able to put on a Bane voice and say ‘Im Gotham’s reckoning, Batman’ at any given moment, to amuse my boyfriend. The gift that keeps on giving.

4. This video, which just kills me every time.

Now for the bad, or rather, for the questions which I felt were unanswered (this is where the spoilers kick in):

1. If you were trying to assume a fake identity, but had a foreign accent, would you call yourself Miranda Tate? Wouldn’t this just lead to more questions?

2. After the kid escaped the well-prison, she brought her dad, Liam Neeson back to get her friend Bane out. If Liam could get Bane out, then why didn’t other people break people out? I guess it’s just Liam’s impressive skill set…

Now, I HATE not understanding things, but despite the confusion with the plot, I still thought this film was excellent, so I guess that’s a win.

Christian Bale is at your Party by Rob Cantor